treasure your relationships

Tuesday something happened that I thought would never happen.

It wasn't just that my management class was cancelled without an email or an announcement to give the students a head's up.  It wasn't that I received an email the next day from the Director of Management telling the students that class on Thursday would be cancelled, as well.  It was the next email.  It was the email telling the students why class was cancelled, why we had received all of those emails.  It was the news that my professor, Barbara Keats, had passed away.  Although I had only known her for three lectures/classes, I liked her.  She loved her dogs.  She loved to volunteer and encourage others to volunteer.  She was happy, and she seemed healthy.

It turns out they think that she passed away from an aggressive infection that she had been dealing with.  The suddenness and unpredictability of her death got me thinking.  Usually, the people you know of, or hear of, passing away are either killed in some sort of accident or they are gradually getting sicker, and it's visible to themselves and to others.  In my professor's case, I had no way of knowing she was sick by looking at her.  It makes me wonder how many other people out there that I know, and will meet, are essentially dying.

From this point forward, I want to cherish every relationship that I'm apart of.  Whether it's my best friends, my family members, my friends, or even my acquaintances, every relationship is important and you never know when you won't see that person again.  Each encounter could be your last, and it's our job to make it meaningful.  The last thing I want to do is not be able to tell someone something they should have heard.  The last thing I want to do is to not have the chance to apologize.  The last thing I want to do is have regret.

RIP Barbara Keats.  You took a class that I was dreading and made me interested.

life is a journey

Let's try and promise one another to make it to many destinations in our lifetimes.

i wake

I wake up every morning, thankful for what I have.

I'll always have the love of my family,

my best friends,

and the people I've met and those I don't even know yet.

Even though it's hot I wake up to blue skies and sunshine,

palm trees swaying in the warm breeze,

and a city filled with possibilities.

I have the luxury of a car that can take me to the grocery store,

to work, the mall, or the gym,

and even across cities and states that offer me even more opportunities.

I have a part-time job that offers me a paycheck every two weeks,

tips after every shift,

and most importantly the ability to pay for things I have an interest in. 

Some days I feel bored.

Some days I feel busy.

I try to live everyday separately, 

but it's hard not to think about or hope for the future.  

It's difficult not to think of the past and wish you could relive a moment over and over again.  

But ultimately, I am thankful for everything I've experienced, and 

I can't wait to LIVE everyday for the rest of my life.  

sleepy

Sleeping.

It's hard to do when thinking about your dreams.

It seems pointless when hanging out with your best friends, prank-chatting some guy into believing hilarious fibs.

It seems like a waste of time when talking to the boy you can't stop thinking about.

It's so crucial to our health to sleep 8-10 hours a day.  But, imagine what we could do if we didn't have to sleep.

live with no regret

"In the end, 
we only regret the chances we didn't take,
the relationships we were afraid to have,
and the decisions we waited to long to make"

every young couple in love

Our daily problems in life don't seem so important now, do they?

the valley

It's time for vacation. The last time I went on a vacation with my roommates and best friends (Kelcy and Paige) was in January. We were in a beautiful, little place known as Hawaii. This weekend we were lucky. We were all able to get our shifts at work covered so we could take a vacation together, just the three of us. Not only are we going on vacation together, but we're meeting up and staying with our best friend, Olivia! We'll be there for three days, and that is more than enough time to spend quality time with each other all in one place while forgetting about all the stresses and drama in Arizona. While I'm also excited to see a certain boy, I am most excited to spend time in a beautiful Los Angeles with my three best friends.

I love vacations. I love LA. I love Kelky, Paigey, and Olivs < 3

confusion

I'm confused.

I thought I knew what I want. Then I changed my mind. I was happy with my decision. Now I'm doubting it.

The good thing is, I still have time. I will be happy with whichever I choose. That's what makes this decision so hard.

And if I choose not to study abroad this Spring? I have the next Fall.

Maybe I'm thinking too much. I'm going to stop thinking, stop worrying about what other people think, and start living.

"Everything is always okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end."

changing dreams

Yesterday I spoke aloud what I've been thinking inside for the past four weeks.

"I don't want to go to Milan this Spring.

I don't want to study abroad anymore.

I want to be here, living life and experiencing things with my friends and family."

Ever since I went to Rome, Italy my sophomore year of high school, I have dreamed and told everyone my dreams of going to the Bocconi business school in Milan, Italy. For five years this has been my ultimate dream. But now that the application deadline is approaching, I have found myself procrastinating on what should be a simple task. Every night for the past month I've been thinking about what it would be like to be abroad. Don't get me wrong, it would be incredible to build a life all on my own in a beautiful city, but I don't know if it would be worth all that I would lose.

I would miss birthdays, Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, spring break, Coachella, even ASU's undie run (haha). More importantly, I would miss the little things: Movie nights, comforting friends through break-ups, giving advice not through a computer screen, seeing friends fall in like (or love), grocery shopping, blasting party music while getting ready with my best friends, meeting my parents for dinner, going to the movies, making spontaneous trips to other parts of Arizona or California, having morning pow-wows with Kelcy and Paige, working, making money, meeting people, the sunsets, driving my car, the blue skies, my room, Chipotle, and so much more.

I've been lucky enough to go abroad. I've seen the world. In high school, I had no idea who I was going to become or what I would want. I've held onto this dream for so long, and now I'm ready to let it go. I'm a different person than I was. I want to spend the best four years of my life with my family and the friends that have made me who I am today, and who I have grown to love. I will go to Milan. I will live abroad at some point in my life. But right now, I need to be here. Here in America with my family, my best friends, my peers, and the strangers that will soon become my family. I feel relieved and more appreciative of where I am than ever before.

an irish blessing

May you always be blessed with walls for the wind.

A roof for the rain.

A warm cup of tea by the fire.

Laughter to cheer you.

Those you love near you.

And all that your heart might desire.

california

I used to see California as my second home. When I was little, we would go to San Diego and Coronado Island to visit my grandparents summer home. When they moved a little further North, we would go to Carmel and boogie board all day, everyday. Once Kelcy and I had a car and a license, we made our first BIG roadtrip to Los Angeles to visit our brothers Blake and Reed, and then onto Northern California to visit our soon to be best friend Paige. This was the best time for me and California. We would see each other about 5 or 6 times that year. Northern California for winter break, spring break, and fourth of July. Los Angeles in June and August. Unfortunately, it's almost been a year since that last trip we took in August. I miss my brothers, I miss the drive to L.A., and I miss California.

But that's all about to change tomorrow. Kelcy and I are taking a long, overdue trip to visit our friend Olivia in the valley, and then onto Los Angeles on Thursday. I don't know if it's going to be a relaxing, beachy trip OR a Hollywood-going, late night trip like the past couple of times. Frankly, I don't really care. I just want to be in the presence of my friends and brother who reside in Arizona's greatest neighbor: California.

time to try

I've always been interested in art. One Thursday every month, my high school drama teacher would take us to the Phoenix Art Museum. It was here that we would spend two hours without direct supervision, just exploring 285,000 square feet of art work from all different eras, centuries, and mediums. The irony in all of this, however, was the fact that these museum trips sparked my interest in visual arts when I went to a purely performing arts school. Even so, I would doodle in my notebook, go to the store and buy paints and canvas, and try to teach myself how to paint and draw. Now that I am at university, I have added to my sketchbook when I'm alone, feel sad, or just get that urge to create something. Although I still really have no professional training, I look to the vast number of inspiring artists on countless websites to learn and grow.

These are some of the works that inspire me to try new mediums and get into my car and over to the art store down the street. Maybe someone there can give me a little advice.

Lastly, I'm trying to come up with my own style. Looking at P@t Perry's art, you wouldn't guess that this is how he goes about it. I hope to find my own style soon, and create a piece that can be displayed in my new house that I share with my two best friends.